Building up Faith, again

so this past week, I have been battling against the Enemy. I have not been sleeping well because I keep being attacked in my sleep. I have to admit it's pretty scary. At some points this past week, I have been afraid to sleep. And I have had many restless nights because of the fact that the Enemy has been trying to break me down.
But also this week I have been running to the Lord, desperately seeking His comfort and protection. And the great part about it all is that even though I have been afraid, and I have been attacked, God has protected me. He has poured out his Grace and Love on me so much this week, that my perspective has been changing.

I am not alone, I am in the Army of the Lord. God is my refuge, my strong tower, my fortress, my rock. Christ is my victor.

I am breaking off Rejection with a Spirit of Adoption as Jason Upton puts it.

The Lord has been teaching me more and more about this "process," and to ask WHAT, instead of worrying about WHY.
"What do you want me to do Lord? What can I do in order to live out your will?"
"How can I give you more access to my life?"

I think being afraid does something to a person. It puts life into perspective. Above all else, I feel the fear of the Lord. I have realized yet again, that compared to the Glory of God, I am nothing. Compared to the Awesomeness of God, I am but a finite being. I have a God who loves me, and who wants to use to me to Glorify Him. I have a purpose in this crazy life. I have a say in this world, but its God's say, not mine.

I think feeling the fear of the Lord is a great thing. It is overwhelming. Yes it is the scariest thing, ever. But more importantly the Peace, and the Joy of the Lord always follows. God knocks down my pride, and he humbles me on the threshing floor.
By him doing this, I rebuild my relationship with Him. What I mean is that I can re-focus on Him, and push out the things that do not matter.

I am stubborn and you can ask my close friends haha. By God doing this, I realize how much I am whoring my self out to this world. I am being a whore by filling my life with this stuff. And it's all stuff. If it's not God, then its stuff.

I am rebuilding the foundations, like Nehemiah did.

I know I am rambling, but its what I do best.

‘Cause You’re in my life, You’re in my life more than anyone can ever be
Father we’re building a relationship again, just me and You
We’re building a relationship again, just me and You
It’s not about the job I have
It’s not about the friends I have
Its’ not about the house I have or the social status I have
It’s about me and You
We’re building a relationship again, just me and You
You’re building my faith up again

Let faith arise, oh Lord!

As Jason Upton puts it in "FAITH"