Wrestling

So life is really really good right now... School this semester is so amazing, building friendships with people, work is awesome, CHURCH JUST ROCKS... but... God is doing some things in my life right now that I have to wrestle through.

The main thing right now is the whole after college. I have always been told time and time again that in order to be a minister, I have to go to seminary as soon as I graduate. Right now, I do no have a desire to go to seminary. In fact right now, I just want to get as much practical experience of learning about being the hands and feet of Christ. Right now my heart's desire is to network, pour into college kids, and passionately pursue people who are far from God. Now, I know that God may lead me to go to seminary in the future, but right now I desire to pour all I have into doing ministry and not sitting in a classroom. I have been doing that for almost four and a half years, and honestly I am getting tired of learning theory. And so I am wrestling with God. Wrestling hard to determine to if after the summer if it is God's will that I go to seminary of if I will get a job that enables me to make a decent living while doing the very things that I am so passionate about.

I am processing a lot of information, and seeking advice from those who are in the ministry, both "ordained" and non "ordained." The weight of the call is so heavily burdened on my heart and all I want to do is be obedient. Some of the things that I have to process through deal with the issue of my flesh. Since I am rebellious in my ways, some good some bad, is not going to seminary after the summer really my flesh, or is it a direct call from Christ to gain practical ministry experience for an a season that I really have no clue how long it will last?

I do know one thing, and that is Christ will determine my steps. He has already prepared His perfect plan for me. I know that I will be a minister, and that I will pastor people. I take joy in knowing that I cannot see my self doing anything else but to preach His Word.

I know that after Monday I will have a better clue as to which direction God wants me to go. It's just that the waiting is the hardest part. I have been waiting it seems for a very long time haha.

Tonight, I had a great a time with my battle buddy, my armor bearer, Jonathan Reeves. Jonathan is soo anointed, so in tune with the Holy Spirit. He always has a way of being a mouthpiece for Christ in my life. It's always good to have someone assure about the Goodness of Christ. It is always good to have someone in your life who tells you the very things that make you squirm, and uncomfortable. It is always good to have someone who can encourage you, and gently rebuke you. I love Jonathan Reeves, he is the brother I never had, but always wanted. HA! but The LORD worked it out!!!

I do feel challenged, but yet at the same time, I have more of a peace in my spirit about the future. Jeremiah 29:11. Habakkuk 1:5. Hebrews 11:6-7. God is soo good, and I know that the best is yet to come!!!

Just felt like being open and honest with you guys!!!