Advice for Single guys part one!!!

ADVICE FOR SINGLE GUYS-PASTOR PERRY NOBLE OF NEWSPRING!!!!


enough said!!!

Short and Sweet!!!

Actively Single, or Passively Single? This past month...

So this past month has been amazing for me. God has really been stretching and pulling me. He has moved me out of my comfort zone.

I started off these past month passively single. I was talking with Danah and Womack today at Java's and their friend came up with this theory, that Pastor, and other pastors have talked about for ages. Brett's theory is simple, yet so powerful.
Here it is:
Are we passively single, that is not content, not taking full advantage of our singleness to advance God's Kingdom. OR Actively Single, that is content, knowing full well that we are God's hands, and that we are called right now, to live, fully, and boldly in our singleness to advance God's Kingdom. Do we set our aim on things higher than this world, honed in to God's Holy Spirit? If we are actively single, than we are caught up in matters of God's Kingdom.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

This reminds me of the many talks, I have had with my Entourage.
I don't have it all together, I make mistakes, I mess up. I worry, I get stressed out, and one issue for me is this whole singleness thing.
This past month, God has shown me where my fault has been on this issue.
Yes I am doing ministry, yes, I am advancing God's Kingdom, but I have been yearning for my wife. ya know, looking, searching, daydreaming.
I have wonderful friends who have prayed for me, and still are, friends who care about me, and who want to see me reach new places in Christ Jesus.

I firmly believe that God uses people around us, people in our lives, not just our friends but random people, to speak life and truth into our lives.

I have realized that I have not been embracing my singleness. I have not been joyfully enjoying this season of my life.
God has shown me what great credibility I have as a single man of God. I have this great and special opportunity to live my life as a witness to others who are struggling with this same issue.
I can relate to others, and encourage others using the Gospel. I can be fully focused on God's affairs because I am single.

I am a better man today, because I have finally let God fill me up, and breathe His creative power in me. I have stopped fighting God, and just let His truth take hold in my life.

I am excited about this season now. I am fully content, knowing full well that He has that special wife out there for me. This has been a struggle of mine. Even though I have not had a gf in over a year, I still have been pursuing possible candidates.

Just because this world tells me to not wait, does not mean that God is telling me to not wait. In fact He is working so mightily in my life right now, that the best thing for me to do is to stay focused and stay in the race, running for the prize. In other words, to just chill out on this whole finding a wife business and focus fully on seeking and saving that or those who are lost by being an example.

Who do you have in your life who has your back? Who do you have in your life who will speak life and truth into your life, whether you want to hear it or not?
I pray that you have somebody. I know I have quite a few, and that is very frustrating at times because I am hard headed.

Praise God!!!!

Marriage???

So I am going out of town this weekend to my friend Aaron's wedding in Durham.
I am have the honor of being the Emcee. I get to announce when the dances are, the cutting of the cake, ya know the stuff. It is gonna be awesome.
Plus in the morning, Aaron's friend's dad is gonna open up the UNC pool in Chapel Hill, and we get to play extreme water polo with inner tubes!!! We may even go for a run. YAY!!
I am also going home to spend some time while mom is on a youth choir retreat. That will be AWESOME TIME!!

More to the point... Here is a list of qualities I look for in a wife, fyi for all those readers out there haha. I think I will put some of the top ones.

1. Sold out for Jesus- A Proverbs 31 Woman.
   
2. Beautiful ( I know sounds shallow, but come on now, lets all be honest here) Of course she will be the most beautiful person to me, duh she'll be my wife. Hot Hot Hot!!
3. Pastor's wife. Since I am called in the ministry, I think it will be important that my wife will be okay with being a Pastor's wife.
   
4. Someone who is compassionate about others and seeing life change that can only come from Jesus and His love, grace and mercy.
   
5. Good communicator: someone who is not afraid to tell me what is on her heart, and correct me when I am wrong. I want to have a healthy marriage, and everyone who is married says that communication is the key, especially in the hard times. (boldness)
   
6. Someone who can lend me a wise word. I believe that every believer has wisdom that comes from Christ, but I want my wife to be a Proverbs 31:26 woman.
7. Sense of humor. I am a crazy guy, well spaz is more like it. Someone who can be sarcastic at times- dish it out and take it.... thats just me haha.
   
8. A gracious wife. Someone who is full of God's grace, cuz Lord knows I am gonna need a lot of grace as a husband haha.
   
9. I believe that my wife will be a good encourager. As a man, I need constant encouragement to continue in God's Will. When I do fail, I believe my wife will encourage me to seek Christ, and take the steps to correct my wrongdoing.
   
10. Someone who takes a more logical view of life. I am very emotional, and in some cases, I do not look at things from the logical point of view. (ask my dad, he is helping me in that) Not saying she cannot be emotional(thats great!!), but someone who can compliment me.
11. Someone who is Baptized with the Holy Spirit. A wife who can intercede on mine, my family's, and other's behalf. I want my wife to have that intimate prayer tongue with Jesus, and intimate prayer life that comes only from receiving the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
12. Athletic. Yes, someone who takes care of her body is very important to me. Since I do triathlons, I want a wife who likes to keep in shape. I am not saying that she has to be like an iron woman, or a professional athlete. Just a wife who does not mind working out.

These are some of the most important qualities that I believe God has placed on my heart when looking for a wife.

I know people have asked me this question multiple times, and I have decided to write them down.

Spur one another on to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)

I want to be that Ephesians 5:25-33 husband.

Hope you enjoyed what is on my heart!!

Nothing is Too Hard

"Sun Stand Still
Oceans Part,
Nothing is too hard, nothing is too hard.
Refuge for the weak, Strong and Mighty,
Nothing is to hard, nothing is too hard."

"We Believe, We Believe that You are GOD, Nothing is too hard."
"Sun Stand Still" - Elevation Band

So I find my self at the end of another journey, with more questions than answers of course.
But I have learned a lot from this journey. Bittersweet, but sweeter still because of the Revelations that God has given me, Revelations that have changed my perspective yet again about this crazy life.

So looking back on this situation there are a lot of things that could have gone differently. Some for the good, and some for the worse. But God has guided me to this exact place because of the Lesson. This profound payoff, at the end of this journey, was worth it. The point as Pastor always talks about is in the Process. Yes, I can say that even though my heart is a little heavy, and I feel like life has just hit me up side of the head with a two by four, that this process was 100% worth it.

The steps and the measures I have gone to to try to let God guard my heart in this matter have really had an impact on my life. I have learned more about letting God guard my heart, and the steps that He wants me to take in order to guard my heart, and to strive towards Cross.

Yes, I am a little beaten down by life, and this world. I am a little beaten down by the steps in this process, and the choices I have made.
Yes there is a part of me who wanted this thing to work out the way I wanted it to. But I know that sooner or later, it would not have worked out because that was not part of God's Plan. And I see that more clearly now than ever. And I am little bummed out, to be perfectly human.
BUT I am so in awe of God's Grace. I am just amazed that I see how clearly it would not have worked out. And that fact does not bother me. I am so happy that God's will happened. I am happy for the fact that I was able to see it God's way. So yes there is a contradiction, I am a little bummed out that it didn't work the way I wanted it to, but yet happier because I know that was not God's plan for me.

God is restoring me. Man, He is the best. Jesus is my savior, and He is def pouring out His mercies, and Love.

ha, I mean wow check this out

1 Peter 5:10
The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

I now know more than ever about going about this situation, and how to set up boundaries, and to let Christ guide me more than ever. I am so excited because I am grasping more than ever, how Christ wants me to live, and to walk with Him. In order to do that, I have to let Him lead me more and more each day.

I can keep moving forward now. I can feel the presence of Christ right now, and I can feel Him in my beating heart. The very depths of my soul cry out with joy because I have just completed a journey, and another one is now beginning.

I do not know what all this journey has in store for me, but I do know that I am very excited to see what God has planned for me. I am very excited to learn, and to grow.

It's not all about a fairy tale...

since I have been on vacation and without internet, here are some catch up blogs that have been on my heart.

So its Christmas Season, and there is a lot of talk and advertising for gifts that you can give to your "soul mate," "Special one," "The Love of your life."

Which got me to asking around about "The One" and how I would "Know" if that person is the one.
Will God give me that special sign, well for me series cuz im a lil clueless lol?
Then what about from there? Does it all make sense, i mean would everything go as smoothly as "everyone" says it will?

Now I know what parents say, it takes lots of work for a marriage blah blah lol I KNOW!!!

But I'm talking about dating, and courtship up to marriage.

Well I am getting to know this very very special person better, and God really gave me this revelation. Not only did God give it to me to help me out, but also to help out all my friends who think that it's all a fairy tale with no problems.

This person is simply amazing, and I will write about her later on. :)


But I still do not know who my wife is yet, and if this person is the one then God will tell me when He is ready. And if she is not, then God will tell me that when He is ready as well haha. It's a Win-Win either way with God.

Okay here is what God told me.

Just because you "know" if that person is your soul mate does not mean that things will be eaiser, or that life will magically bend itself around you. It is a miracle only by the sheer Grace and Mercy and Love of God that you do know who that person is. That is the first and foremost important thing.
I am already so thankful that God has that perfect person out there for me who is the most amazing and beautiful person that I will ever know.

I am only saying that life is hard, and once you know, you have to work at keeping it the way God wants it. You have to keep praying, and keep communicating with that person, and with God.
You have to keep striving for purity, and for a Christ centered relationship.
Which in turn will piss off Satan, which means that we have to read the word more and more, and seek wisdom and guidance from God.

Thats awesome that God will tell us, and that He has great plans for us. Jer. 29:11

I hope this story helps:

I was one of those kids you see on tv, or read about in the mail who needed a family. You know the Adopt this Kid kinda thing. My parents saw my picture and fell instantly in love with me. That of course was Christ's work.
Now my parents had a lot of work to do after they "knew" I was the kid they wanted to adopt.
There was all this paper work that had to be done, both with the state, the US, Customs, and the Colombian Government. They had to get thorough background checks and go through all these interviews. They had to be screened to make sure that they were the best parents out there for me. They had to meet with linguists who could make sure the documents were in order and clearly stated in both English and Spanish. Then when they were finally able to go and adopt me, they had to spend two weeks in Colombia in a war town country spending time with me there, and then take me back to the US.
Throughout the whole time, there was a lot of heart ache. The papers had to be re-done, and they had to go through all this red tape. They didn't even know if they were going to be able to adopt me because of all the red tape. They prayed, and prayed, and cried, and asked guidance from God and from other people. Even though they "Knew" I was going to be their son, they had to keep pushing through all of Satan's attacks.

In the end, with their determination, faith in God, I was there son!!!! 20 years later, I am still theirs and I will be for ever!!!!! All that hard work, and pain mixed with joyous times paid off. I am the luckiest kid in the world to have parents who went through all that just to adopt a kid.

I think it's like what with "The One." There will be times of struggle, and pain alongside the times of joy.
That is why it is important to remember that it's not a fairy tale when God reveals "The One," It's nothing short of a miracle, but it does not end there.

So in closing, when you do find that one, keep focusing on Christ, and rebuking the Devil. In the end, it will pay off. Life is hard, but God will show you the way, but only by being obedient.

I am so thankful that God gave me this revelation because when I do know who The One is, I will have a better idea of letting God lead me.

Bringing Sexy Back

So it has almost been a whole year since I had a gf or dated someone. Praise God!!
But I believe God is really leading me in the direction of courtship. Now I do not really know who it is yet haha, but I know Christ is setting me apart in order to pursue courtship. I still have lots more to learn, but here is a reflective moment.
So listening again to "Bringing Sexy Back" to the fourth talk.

Pastor and His wife talked about 4 points or qualities that every person should find in their future spouse.

I am only going to sum them up for you, and talk about the importance to me. Check out the sermon to get the picture if this sounds like rambling, and it probably will be!!

http://www.elevationchurch.org/
1) click under Previous Sermons on the bottom right
2) after the new window pops up click Bringing Sexy Back
3) click on Get a Job, Get a Life, Get a Wife and enjoy!!


Things I want in my Future Wife:

1) MY BEST FRIEND
a) Without a doubt she needs to be my best friend. Your best friend is always there for you. Your best friends knows you the best, and if my marriage is going to work, then my wife needs to be my best friend so that I can seek guidance from her when I need it.

2) SOMEONE WHO IS PASSIONATELY PURSING GOD! SOMEONE NOT "PERFECT" BUT PROGRESSING
a) someone who I can just randomly ask, What is God doing in your life, what is God teaching you? I want her to be able to answer me without fishing for stuff, or coming up with some vague Sunday school answer.
b) someone who I know that hears from God. I want my wife to be someone who I know trusts God and listens to the guidance He gives her.
To me THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THING ABOUT A WOMAN IS HER WALK WITH THE LORD!!! NOT HER OUTWARD BEAUTY. That is important, but lets face it, a lot of people are hot on the outside, but cold on the inside.
c) I want a girl who is modest, and not totally obsessed with her self image. Now I want a woman who can take pride in the way she looks and how she presents her self, don't get me wrong, but not a woman who dresses to impress others in order to really feel good about her self. That is just blind vanity, and that is setting your self up for failure and disaster. It is okay to bum it now and again, and I think thats cool cuz I do it alot haha.

As Pastor said "What you attract them with, you attract them to."

3) A woman who makes me better.
I want a woman who can tell me straight up what I am doing wrong. I need a woman who can confront me, and challenge me. I need my wife to be able to come along side of me and help me see my faults, and help me come up with Biblical ways in which to deal with those faults. I am def not perfect, and there is always room for improvement.
But if my wife cannot be up front with me (something that only best friends are the best at) then how is our marriage going to work? Answer: It won't.

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.

4) a woman who has a vision.
I want my wife to be able to have a vision about what God wants her to do with her life, and how to best serve God.
I want a woman who just doesn't talk about it, but actually does it, and sees it through.
And I want to get behind her, and support her while she is carrying out her vision even though I may not fully understand her vision, or have even have the best advice.

Her Vision should be Christ focused.

AS YOU LISTEN TO THE SERMON, YOU CAN PICK UP THAT THESE ARE NOT GENDER SPECIFIC. PASTOR AND HIS WIFE HOLLY BOTH GO BACK AND FORTH AND TEACH YOU HOW THESE 4 THINGS CAN BE USED FOR THE GUY AND THE GIRL.

Remember Marriage is not all about happiness, its about Holiness.
If it is Holy, then it will be so happy. Isn't that true for a lot of issues regarding Christ haha. I think So.

**Ephesians 5:25-33 kind of love!**
I WANT TO LOVE AND SERVE MY WIFE AS CHRIST DID THE CHURCH!!


Hope you enjoyed my blog!
Please Check out the Whole Series to learn more about where I am coming from!
I want my vision to be God's Vision.

ALSO MY PREVIOUS BLOG CONTAINS SOME BOUNDARIES AND WHAT NOT :)
Amen and Amen

:)

Boundaries

Also while I am at it, lol Boundaries.

EPHESIANS 5:25-33 KIND OF LOVE IS THE GOAL HERE FOLKS, BUT I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO PRESENT THAT BY SETTING UP BOUNDARIES.

Along with the 4 things mentioned in the previous blog:
1) to get to know her in group settings before we move on to more of the one on one settings.
2) To not talk on the phone for hours and hours about intimate details of our hearts before we know that God is blessing our friendship and telling us to move toward courtship
3) not to be out late at night by ourselves because that is just stupid to me and dangerous.
4) to be able to worship together in church, but to keep Christ as the focus.
Later on down the road, I want to be able to serve in the same church, and raise a family in that church.
5) VERY IMPORTANT: SEXUAL PURITY!!! I do not know how she will feel about kissing, but I know my self pretty well... To not kiss until we are married. At least till we are engaged, but I do not want to set my self up for failure.
6) to be able to say I LOVE YOU when we are engaged. I do not want to say those words without God's Blessing, and the full confirmation that the woman I am courting is in fact my wife. I want to be able to be free enough without any doubt to back up it up when I say those words to her.
6) She has to be willing to pray about our friendship, and our courtship. She has to be willing to know that God has a perfect plan, and that means praying during the bad times as well as the good for God's perfect will to be done. That should be the main focus in prayer: God's will be done in our relationship. Even if it means that we are not meant to be together.

7) okay so you may think I am crazy, but here is one that is important to me:
To be able to workout with my wife. I am very athletic and active. It does not really matter to me what we do, as long as we do something. I have dated girls who are not wired in the mindset of working out and they think it is a waste of time. But working out is me, and that was how I was raised. I love it. I also get to spend time with God and mediate while I work out.

I think those are the main Boundaries/criteria right now that God has placed on my heart.
I have more, but those I will talk about with my future spouse and my accountability partners.

I can't really apologize for being upfront, and bold about these issues. I cannot apologize for seeming overbearing, but hey, this is my life, and my heart haha.
I am sorry if you take offense and think that I am a raving lunatic.
Please get over that and get your head out of the sand.

GOD BLESS! :)

Note to Biblical Women (from Apr 16th 2007)

Hey, I have been listening to a lot of sermons on Biblical Womanhood, and the Beauty of a Woman. I can't tag all of you haha but spread this to your friends.
This is for women in general, but today, the LORD has lead me to write this for the single ones. (it can also apply to women struggling in relationships)

(ALSO, I tagged you ladies because The Lord told me to. There is nothing wrong with you or anything haha, I am just doing what The Lord told me to do). Maybe you already know this this stuff and thats fine, but maybe you have a friend who needs to be encouraged and some of this scripture may help)



1) Do not give up! Do not back down and settle for anything less that what God has in store for you. You are single for a reason, not because you are not beautiful, or you are damaged goods(GOD DOES NOT MAKE JUNK) or that you do not have what it takes.. You are Single because God is still working in you and you can better serve Him right now through your singleness.

Scripture says:
1 Corinthians 7:34
"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs:
Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit"

2) Fight the emotional lust. Satan wants you to be distracted, and to focus on the fact that you are single, more than on what you can be doing for The Lord in your singleness. He[SATAN] will play with your emotions, and give you the desire to daydream about your husband. He will also give you the desire to want to focus on being in a relationship, and wanting to look for the right man at all times. Do not let him win. Also the World will tell you who you should date, and why, and what you should do to please your man. That is a bunch of crap. Only The Lord Most High has the right to tell you what you can/cannot do. Pray that God will give you strength to fight your flesh, and your emotions. God will give you the desires of your heart, if and only if they will Glorify Him.

Scripture says
Psalm 37:4
"Delight in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart"

Sisters, this, besides being God's beauty incarnate; is what defines you and makes you soo stinking attractive, and captivating.
PROVERBS 31:
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

3) Fear the Lord, continue to seek Him, and be clothed with strength and dignity. Therefore you can laugh at what the world tells you, and rest assured in Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Verses 25 and 30 explain why a Biblical woman is soo attractive.
You fear the Lord. You are intimate with Him. You seek Him, and put Him first.
A Biblical woman is soo beautiful because she embodies God's beauty. She desires to follow Him, and do His Will. She is running soo hard after Him, and she does not want to look back. When the time is right, look beside you for a man, not behind you!!! God will reveal when you are ready, the perfect man for you. You are clothing yourself with strength to stand up for your faith. You are clothing yourself with dignity so that God can work great works through you.

The most attractive thing about you is your walk with the LORD. Yes you are beautiful, and you are captivating, but it is the Lord who makes you this way.
The more you run after Him, the more beauty (God's beauty) will be revealed to you, and those around you!!

Finally I again urge you to not settle for anything convenient.
There may be a guy who is your ideal husband, and he may be a great friend of yours. He may be an outstanding man for the Lord. That is great, Praise God for putting a man like him in your life. But, get to know him as a brother first. God will give you wisdom, and direction on how to be friends. But you must pray, and pour out your heart to The Lord every day!!! He will tell you if this guy is the one for you. But you must be patient. Even if this guy is not the one for you, and you are hoping soo much that he will be your husband; REST IN THE FACT THAT GOD HAS SOMEONE BETTER, SOMEONE PERFECT FOR YOU,AND YOU ALONE!!!!!!

Continue to pray for your future husband, but do not focus on the here and now. Instead I encourage you to keep living for God like you have been living.

I respect you women because you are mighty in The Lord. You are strong, and mighty! Do NOT BACK OFF, DOMINATE!!! (your heart, your emotions, your walk with the Lord)

(Do not put all your hopes and dreams in to a biblical man, put them instead in Jesus Christ. For a Biblical man can guard your heart, and offer his strength, but it is your heart, and you must guard it. You must let God guard it first, before any man.)

Sorry this is soo long, and I just randomly wrote this note because the Spirit Led me
I do not care what you think, I know that I am right on this, and I am sure I'll catch some heat from my brothers in Christ, but Lets face it,

Guys if you read this, get your junk squared away first. DO NOT OFFER YOUR STRENGTH TO A WOMAN IF YOU ARE NOT WALKING SOUNDLY WITH THE LORD. Even if it is in friendship. Get your junk squared away, then you can step up and be a leader. I know these women, and they will not let you into their hearts until you can step up and be a Man for God.

Lastly, I am not perfect, I am a sinner like everybody else. But I do know the results first hand of focusing on your emotions, and what the world wants you to do.
Being Single is a Joy, and a privilege. I have soo much free time to do what The Lord wants me to do. THAT's THE POINT!!!

AMEN AND GOD BLESS!!!!