Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Senior Soul Searching.

There is a time, I believe in the life of every Senior in College, that they freak out about what it is they are going to do once they graduate.
For some, it is choosing the right gradschool, others, the right job right out of college.
The fear of being hired, the fear of earning a degree that seems promising, but looking at out economy, may not be so promising.

For me, right now, I am yearning. I am yearning so much to know what it is that God has called me to do. I know it is ministry, that is something I have been embracing these last 3 years.
I have been freaking out this past week because I have not spent enough time in the Word, and I have not taken care of my body. It has been two weeks since I have ran, and before that, it was all over the place.
Senior year for me is tough. With my Senior Seminar class, and my textual analysis on theorists, I have spent many late nights and early mornings reading over countless texts.

This Sunday at IMPACT, Justin really spoke some truth that spoke to my inner being. It is Wednesday, and after speaking to my dad last night for like an hour, the truth is finally sinking in. How great is our God, who works His will in spite of me. My dad is a wise man. He really speaks truth into my life, and is both encouraging and challenging.
In order to know what specific ministry God is calling me to, I have to talk with a lot of people.
Military and non-military pastors, church staff members, missionaries, and motivational speakers are on my list.
Maybe going to seminary is for me, maybe it is not. That is not up to me to decide.

The good thing about passionately seeking God, and being fueled with the thought and desire of ministry makes my heart pound. (Job 37:1,5)
My heart is stirred (Psalm 45:1)
This whole thing reveals my desires. (Psalm 37:4)
My heart is set free (Psalm 119:32-34)

God can do anything, more than we can ask or imagine. (Eph 3:20-21)

I did run today, and let me just tell you, I feel better, I feel more alive, a sense of clarity. Emotionally balanced, more in tune with God. I like to pray while I run, and today, I feel better.

Thanks to Bradelyn for encouraging me, and for sharing her heart with me today. We are both in similar spots (ministry after college). It is good to be able to talk with someone who is dealing with that, but who is not struggling as much as me.

I know that today is a great day. I feel as if a heavy weight is being lifted up.

Thank You Jesus, for Your Love!!! You are the sustainer, the great redeemer.

SAVIOR KING-HILLSONG

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